Matters of the Heart
I am okay, in case you are wondering. I realize that I don’t have to fight a space in someone’s life because if they really cared then they will create a space for me. I don’t want to expect anymore. For the matters of the heart, whatever will be, will be. If he needs me, I’ll be there. If he asks me, I will answer. If he wants me, I’ll stay. I still don’t know if I should wait or completely let go - I guess I just have to go with the flow. I’ve thought about a lot of things and being a hopeless romantic as I am, I realized I took love too seriously at this age and I loved too much. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with loving too much in fact it’s a good thing but young love lasts only for so long. Therefore just enjoy each other’s company and be each other’s strength, support and inspiration. There’s no rush. Achieve your dreams together and grow together. I should have known this but I was naive back then and even now I’m still learning..
My Dreams & Goals
My dreams have not changed. In fact, they’ve now become goals. I’ve always wanted to own my own business or even franchise a business and it is going to come true. I know it. If your dreams doesn’t scare you then they aren’t that big. I’ve made a timeline for the future, and I know there will be challenges along the way but I need to remind myself not to be hasty & take my time. I wanna be able to drive then travel parts of the world. Finish University with honours. Set up the business, perhaps in retail & fashion. Pursue my career and dreams. Become stable & my parents stable. Get married with someone I love. Settle down & be content. It all sounds so good, so clear and straightforward but the challenge of getting there will be long and difficult but it will all be worth it.
Life & Spirituality
Although I’ve made my own plans, I still believe in the plans God has for me. If it doesn’t work out then maybe it’s a detour for something better. Life has many challenges and having a stubborn attitude really helps me get through life. I never give up. And along my trials I know there is God beside me fighting my battles with me. Being given the responsibility as a Youth Group leader has shaped me morally and personally. That everything I have as of now is all thanks to the one above us all. This responsibility will also teach me to withstand pressure and handle those around me with compassion and love. There is always a reason. And that reason is to live for Him. In difficult situations I need to remind myself, “What would Jesus do?”
I am not the same person as I was a year ago, a month ago, a week ago not even 24 hours ago. Each day I am learning not just about life in general but about myself and my purpose. I am not perfect and I accept all my imperfections and I love myself despite my flaws. Not being arrogant but I realized that you will never be happy with someone or something unless you find happiness within yourself. Cliche as it sounds but it is the truth. No one will ever satisfy you but yourself - how you think, how you see yourself, how you see the world. You see, we have the power. I’m only nineteen and I know I still have a lot to learn. I want to be wise already but rushing does not provide efficient results. It takes time, slowly but surely. If I want to become a better version of myself then I have to act on it. If I want to be patient then practice patience. I want to be positive then think positive. It is as easy as that. The hard part is being consistent but I know if you really want it then never give up on it.